I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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