singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
