she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just high enough for therapy.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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