She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
