Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
