and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
