I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
