Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
