and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
