where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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