that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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