thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
