you guys were way drunker than both of me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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