I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
