she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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