Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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