This is not my ceiling
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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