is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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