My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
