The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
