Old men and throwing up are my life now.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
