i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
