I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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