Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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