But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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