let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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