So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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