My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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