I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
