I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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