You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize