Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My bed smells like the plague
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
