it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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