Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no you cant smoke seaweed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
