when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
