I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
