Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
