I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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