I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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