Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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