I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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