Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
