have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
