So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
