At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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