Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
