I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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