I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
