How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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