The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
