4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
