I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
