Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
