Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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