Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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